I've been avoiding it for a while, but it's finally time to acknowledge the establishment at which I lost my casino cherry. Billy inspired me to do so with his post about Full Tilt Poker online. You could say that fateful trip to Hollywood Park (a.k.a. "HP") was the beginning of the end for me. That drive down the 405 last July pretty much sealed my fate as a degenerate gambler for the rest of my days. I have some fond memories of the place, as well as some not-so-fond ones; it's usually like that with your first partner. You know you were terrible. They know you were terrible. So it's just a little on the awkward side. But despite my, um ... up-and-down history with HP, I'll try to be as objective in my review as possible.
Hollywood Park is located in the heart of Inglewood -- the hometown of such celebrated figures as Mack 10 and Paul Pierce. It's also the home to a racetrack, so you can always give the ponies a try if the cards aren't falling your way. It doesn't draw too many outsiders -- most of its denizens- er, patrons are from right in that area of town. HP spreads both low- and high-limit games, including Stud, Omaha 8, and Texas Hold Em (both Limit and No Limit). The food is not bad, and members of the Player's Club are comped decently. Unlike some cardrooms in the area, you can expect your card to be scanned on the hour with pretty good regularity. HP hosts plenty of tournaments, with affordable satellites, and no shortage of bad players.
The problem with this abundance of fish is what I've once heard called "schooling." That is, there are so many bad players there that profitable plays do not always remain profitable. The fish just gang up on you ... hence, schooling. If you pick up Jacks in a limit Hold Em game, for example, you can expect your pre-flop raise to be called by several people at the table. By the time the river comes, if you haven't hit a set or otherwise improved, you can be pretty sure your jacks are no longer good, even if they're an overpair. There are just so many chasers and gamblers at HP that turning a consistent profit requires both super-tight play and a fair amount of luck.
Another downside to HP is the hardly-controlled chaos of the poker room. Players will curse at you, abuse alcohol, throw cards and chips at the dealer or at other players, etc. and get away with warnings from the floorman. A female server can expect a certain level of sexual harassment at any establishment that encourages drinking, but the players at HP take this abuse to new heights. I mean lows. I've heard more indecent proposals extended at that card club than I can remember. It's a shame, really. Honestly, I feel a little icky when I come out of there. I'll resist the temptation to insert another metaphor here ...
Okay, I've blabbered enough. Time for the ratings (scale of 1 to 5):
Player Quality (x2.00): 3.0
Cardroom/Staff Quality (x1.50): 1.5
Comp Quality (x1.25): 4.0
Tournament Quality (x1.00): 3.5
Game Variety (x1.00): 3.5
Total Weighted Points: 20.25
Total Weights: 6.75
Weighted Average: 3.00.
To sum it all up, I would say that going to Hollywood Park Casino really is like your first sexual experience, or maybe like that booty call you're too embarrassed to tell your friends about. It gets the job done, but it ain't pretty.
Click here for more information about Hollywood Park Casino.
Showing posts with label Casino Reviews. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Casino Reviews. Show all posts
Monday, December 18, 2006
The Commerce Casino
What can I say about the Commerce? Along with the Bicycle, it is definitely one of Southern California’s more upscale and better-known casinos. The Commerce offers more players, spreads more games and limits, and has a friendlier staff than most other card rooms in the area. Tables there tend to fill quickly, and the Floormen aren’t gun-shy about spreading new games when the waiting lists get too long. The Commerce owns an adjacent hotel if you’re in town on vacation (but I must admit, I’m not familiar with their rates as I’ve never taken a room there). The food is not bad, not great. One of the downsides is that the players here are better than average. The shark-to-fish ratio is higher than I would prefer.
One thing that makes the Commerce rather unique is the presence of digital clocks placed throughout the gaming rooms. Most casinos would rather you not be aware of the time, so that you spend hours upon hours gambling your paycheck away. Well, I have the annoying personality quirk of being obsessed with knowing the time, coupled with a stubborn refusal to have my watch repaired. So I really appreciate those clocks, whether or not anyone else does. Also, the Commerce isn’t fussy about players having their chip-racks on the table in front of them while they play, as most casinos are. I think this is a great policy, because it makes it easier to stack your chips in a neat and orderly fashion. It also allows you easily count how much money you have in play, and to guesstimate the stack sizes of your opponents.
So now, getting down to the numbers. I rate the Commerce Casino as follows (scales of 1 to 5):
Player Quality (x2.00): 1.5
Cardroom/Staff Quality (x1.50): 4.5
Comp Quality (x1.25): 3.5
Tournament Quality (x1.00): 3.5
Game Variety (x1.00): 4.0
Total Weighted Points: 21.625
Total Weights: 6.75
Weighted Average: 3.20.
In conclusion, I enjoy playing at the Commerce. It ended up being rated as only slightly better than average, but that’s mainly because we weight player quality so heavily. The Commerce isn’t the best place to start for those new to casinos. You’re better off playing at the Hustler if you’re trying to make money as a baby shark. But if you’re looking for a classier experience, I definitely recommend stopping by the Commerce.
Find out more about the Commerce Casino here.
One thing that makes the Commerce rather unique is the presence of digital clocks placed throughout the gaming rooms. Most casinos would rather you not be aware of the time, so that you spend hours upon hours gambling your paycheck away. Well, I have the annoying personality quirk of being obsessed with knowing the time, coupled with a stubborn refusal to have my watch repaired. So I really appreciate those clocks, whether or not anyone else does. Also, the Commerce isn’t fussy about players having their chip-racks on the table in front of them while they play, as most casinos are. I think this is a great policy, because it makes it easier to stack your chips in a neat and orderly fashion. It also allows you easily count how much money you have in play, and to guesstimate the stack sizes of your opponents.
So now, getting down to the numbers. I rate the Commerce Casino as follows (scales of 1 to 5):
Player Quality (x2.00): 1.5
Cardroom/Staff Quality (x1.50): 4.5
Comp Quality (x1.25): 3.5
Tournament Quality (x1.00): 3.5
Game Variety (x1.00): 4.0
Total Weighted Points: 21.625
Total Weights: 6.75
Weighted Average: 3.20.
In conclusion, I enjoy playing at the Commerce. It ended up being rated as only slightly better than average, but that’s mainly because we weight player quality so heavily. The Commerce isn’t the best place to start for those new to casinos. You’re better off playing at the Hustler if you’re trying to make money as a baby shark. But if you’re looking for a classier experience, I definitely recommend stopping by the Commerce.
Find out more about the Commerce Casino here.
Sunday, December 17, 2006
Was I the biggest Hustler there?
Which is more crucial to a positive casino experience – a fun atmosphere or easy money? Obviously that depends on who you ask. For the casual gambler, the answer is usually fun. People go to Vegas or Atlantic City to get away, to enjoy themselves, to forget about their troubles, all that wonderful pink feathery stuff. For a serious poker player, however, the point of going to a casino should be to stack chips. That’s the only thing that matters to a serious player – how did playing on a given night improve his or her bankroll. Right?
Maybe so, but I still like to have a good time while I’m taking suckers’ money.
As such, I have mixed feelings about my first trip to the Hustler Casino in Gardena. Let me give you a quick rundown of the night. I was supposed to meet Billy and some other guys there, and I decide to bring my girl along. Now, this is her first time ever going to a card club with me, so I’m hoping it will be a good time so she’ll be more excited about me playing in general. I get there, and they have a seat open for me (which is always nice. As a renowned casino critic, I’ve come to expect that type of VIP treatment, know what I mean?) I lose my first $50 buy-in like it’s nothing … basically the result of weak play – calling down with 2nd pair and then folding on the river, calling small bets with gutshots when the odds aren’t even close to good enough, yadda yadda. After that, I focused and made my money back (and some) in about 15 minutes. I used my earlier weak play to my advantage, making a few well timed all-in bluffs and check-raises to quickly rebuild my stack. The opposition was so bad that I wasn’t even playing the cards at one point; just making my moves based upon my reads of people. And doing so profitably. Then my friends Jun and Kurt took seats at my table, and I had to tighten up a bit.
Long story short, I didn’t end up winning a whole lot that night – a whopping six bucks – but I was surprised by how quickly I was able to rebuild my stack without a huge run of luck. I did hit my first ever royal flush that night, but other than that I didn’t really hit any hands that I would feel comfortable being all-in with. There just wasn’t much competition there. So, at least at the $50 buy-in tables, it’s possible to make money.
The only problem with the place is that there’s nothing special about it. You’d think the flippin’ HUSTLER would at least have some nice T & A. Instead, I had men and boys of all ages staring at my girlfriend like she’s a hot slice of apple pie. I won’t even get into the connotations on that one. Furthermore, there was just no buzz there. No energy. It’s not something I can quantify. The place was just … boring.
So I return to my initial question: what’s more essential to the casino experience? It’s always nice to walk out with a larger bankroll than when you came in, or at least break even. But even for a pro, there’s something to be said for the atmosphere of a place. If you’re going to do something anyway, you might as well have fun while you’re at it.
Bottom line – I recommend the Hustler if you’re strictly looking to spend a few hours making money. You might want to carry a few buy-ins, just in case you get bad beat or make a bad read. But over a few hours, a good player should come out ahead. If you’re looking to have fun, however, don’t waste your time driving down to Gardena. You’re not really missing much.
Ratings (scale of 1 to 5):
Player Quality (x2.00): 4.0
Cardroom/Staff Quality (x1.50): 2.5
Comp Quality (x1.25): 4.0
Tournament Quality (x1.00): 3.0
Game Variety (x1.00): 2.0
Total Weighted Points: 21.75
Total Weights: 6.75
Weighted Average: 3.22
For more information, check out the Hustler Casino website.
Maybe so, but I still like to have a good time while I’m taking suckers’ money.
As such, I have mixed feelings about my first trip to the Hustler Casino in Gardena. Let me give you a quick rundown of the night. I was supposed to meet Billy and some other guys there, and I decide to bring my girl along. Now, this is her first time ever going to a card club with me, so I’m hoping it will be a good time so she’ll be more excited about me playing in general. I get there, and they have a seat open for me (which is always nice. As a renowned casino critic, I’ve come to expect that type of VIP treatment, know what I mean?) I lose my first $50 buy-in like it’s nothing … basically the result of weak play – calling down with 2nd pair and then folding on the river, calling small bets with gutshots when the odds aren’t even close to good enough, yadda yadda. After that, I focused and made my money back (and some) in about 15 minutes. I used my earlier weak play to my advantage, making a few well timed all-in bluffs and check-raises to quickly rebuild my stack. The opposition was so bad that I wasn’t even playing the cards at one point; just making my moves based upon my reads of people. And doing so profitably. Then my friends Jun and Kurt took seats at my table, and I had to tighten up a bit.
Long story short, I didn’t end up winning a whole lot that night – a whopping six bucks – but I was surprised by how quickly I was able to rebuild my stack without a huge run of luck. I did hit my first ever royal flush that night, but other than that I didn’t really hit any hands that I would feel comfortable being all-in with. There just wasn’t much competition there. So, at least at the $50 buy-in tables, it’s possible to make money.
The only problem with the place is that there’s nothing special about it. You’d think the flippin’ HUSTLER would at least have some nice T & A. Instead, I had men and boys of all ages staring at my girlfriend like she’s a hot slice of apple pie. I won’t even get into the connotations on that one. Furthermore, there was just no buzz there. No energy. It’s not something I can quantify. The place was just … boring.
So I return to my initial question: what’s more essential to the casino experience? It’s always nice to walk out with a larger bankroll than when you came in, or at least break even. But even for a pro, there’s something to be said for the atmosphere of a place. If you’re going to do something anyway, you might as well have fun while you’re at it.
Bottom line – I recommend the Hustler if you’re strictly looking to spend a few hours making money. You might want to carry a few buy-ins, just in case you get bad beat or make a bad read. But over a few hours, a good player should come out ahead. If you’re looking to have fun, however, don’t waste your time driving down to Gardena. You’re not really missing much.
Ratings (scale of 1 to 5):
Player Quality (x2.00): 4.0
Cardroom/Staff Quality (x1.50): 2.5
Comp Quality (x1.25): 4.0
Tournament Quality (x1.00): 3.0
Game Variety (x1.00): 2.0
Total Weighted Points: 21.75
Total Weights: 6.75
Weighted Average: 3.22
For more information, check out the Hustler Casino website.
The Seminole Hard Rock (or was it “Easy Listening?”) Casino
Here’s the scene:
I’m on a job out in Florida for two weeks, with my own hotel room, a fatty cash advance, and plenty of time on my hands. It’s the weekend, and I’m only thirty minutes from South Beach, thirty minutes from some of the hottest clubs in the country – girls, booze, music, you name it.
What do I do with myself?
In the old days (that is, the single days), this would have been a no-brainer. As it stands, though, a lot of my options are taken away from me (read: “My balls have been cut off.”). So instead, I start browsing, looking for the nearest card club. Turns out the closest one is the “Seminole Hard Rock Hotel and Casino,” some sort of unholy amalgamation of an Indian casino and Hard Rock. But they have cards there, so I’m drawn in like R. Kelly to a Sweet 16 party.
So on Sunday, I drive down, and the spot looks decent on the outside. I see a few Native Americans, dressed to impress. Nothing too out of the ordinary. As I walk in, the first thing I notice is the powerful aroma of old cigarettes … something I should be used to by now, as a card-player. As a Californian, however, it’s gonna take some work.
Anyway, after a bit of searching I find the board to sign up for a game. There’s a long line for that, which doesn’t do much to impress an esteemed casino critic such as myself. But the really annoying thing was that once I got to the head of the line, I was informed that I would have at least a 45-minute wait before I would be seated to play. 45 minutes??? Who do they think they are, the Bellagio? The wait turned out to be TWO HOURS (!), so I window-shopped at the most expensive Quiksilver I’ve ever seen, talked a few Native Americans about the weather, yadda yadda. The spread wasn’t all that great either; the only cash games they had were $1-2 Limit Hold ‘Em, Stud, and Omaha 8. Any casino regular knows how crappy this is. I imagine they do that to keep out the sharks (didn’t work on me, :-P). They also had lame-ass sit-and-go’s with $140 buy-ins. That’s just insane. I considered signing up for one of those for about a whole second. Then I saw they only paid the first two places. No thanks.
Overall rating of the Seminole Hard Rock? Huge thumbs down. The only bright spot was that the players there were pretty much either complete fish, or so straightforward you could read them as easily as you can this blog. So if you’re into winning two bucks an hour taking candy from senior citizens in a smoke-filled dive, then, by all means, visit Hollywood, FL. Just remember to bring along photos of nice eye candy to look at while you wait hours for a seat, because you won’t see any walking around.
I fold on this one.
Ratings (scale of 1 to 5):
Player Quality (x2.00): 4.5
Cardroom/Staff Quality (x1.50): 2.0
Comp Quality (x1.25): 3.0
Tournament Quality (x1.00): 2.0
Game Variety (x1.00): 1.5
Total Weighted Points: 19.25
Total Weights: 6.75
Weighted Average: 2.85
For more information: Seminole Hard Rock Casino
I’m on a job out in Florida for two weeks, with my own hotel room, a fatty cash advance, and plenty of time on my hands. It’s the weekend, and I’m only thirty minutes from South Beach, thirty minutes from some of the hottest clubs in the country – girls, booze, music, you name it.
What do I do with myself?
In the old days (that is, the single days), this would have been a no-brainer. As it stands, though, a lot of my options are taken away from me (read: “My balls have been cut off.”). So instead, I start browsing, looking for the nearest card club. Turns out the closest one is the “Seminole Hard Rock Hotel and Casino,” some sort of unholy amalgamation of an Indian casino and Hard Rock. But they have cards there, so I’m drawn in like R. Kelly to a Sweet 16 party.
So on Sunday, I drive down, and the spot looks decent on the outside. I see a few Native Americans, dressed to impress. Nothing too out of the ordinary. As I walk in, the first thing I notice is the powerful aroma of old cigarettes … something I should be used to by now, as a card-player. As a Californian, however, it’s gonna take some work.
Anyway, after a bit of searching I find the board to sign up for a game. There’s a long line for that, which doesn’t do much to impress an esteemed casino critic such as myself. But the really annoying thing was that once I got to the head of the line, I was informed that I would have at least a 45-minute wait before I would be seated to play. 45 minutes??? Who do they think they are, the Bellagio? The wait turned out to be TWO HOURS (!), so I window-shopped at the most expensive Quiksilver I’ve ever seen, talked a few Native Americans about the weather, yadda yadda. The spread wasn’t all that great either; the only cash games they had were $1-2 Limit Hold ‘Em, Stud, and Omaha 8. Any casino regular knows how crappy this is. I imagine they do that to keep out the sharks (didn’t work on me, :-P). They also had lame-ass sit-and-go’s with $140 buy-ins. That’s just insane. I considered signing up for one of those for about a whole second. Then I saw they only paid the first two places. No thanks.
Overall rating of the Seminole Hard Rock? Huge thumbs down. The only bright spot was that the players there were pretty much either complete fish, or so straightforward you could read them as easily as you can this blog. So if you’re into winning two bucks an hour taking candy from senior citizens in a smoke-filled dive, then, by all means, visit Hollywood, FL. Just remember to bring along photos of nice eye candy to look at while you wait hours for a seat, because you won’t see any walking around.
I fold on this one.
Ratings (scale of 1 to 5):
Player Quality (x2.00): 4.5
Cardroom/Staff Quality (x1.50): 2.0
Comp Quality (x1.25): 3.0
Tournament Quality (x1.00): 2.0
Game Variety (x1.00): 1.5
Total Weighted Points: 19.25
Total Weights: 6.75
Weighted Average: 2.85
For more information: Seminole Hard Rock Casino
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