Self-Awareness

I'm up late in the wee hours of the morning. Supposed to be working, but instead I'm reading through some old blog posts that I wrote back in the day. It's really interesting to me. Some of these posts contain fairly deep insights and creative ways to think about (mainly) no limit hold'em. But others are overly simplified, and in some cases just plain wrong. I wonder how in the world I won the money that I did if I actually thought and played like some of the strategy-articles I wrote suggest. (At one point, I wrote something like "recognizing when you're on a lucky streak and when you are on an unlucky streak is a key to poker success." LOL, yikes!!) Maybe the poker games in which I played were just much softer than the ones I play in now.

Another thing that strikes me is how cocky I came off in a few of my posts. That aspect is rather embarrassing. I take some comfort in the fact that I am a lot more humble now than I was then, even though I am certainly a better player. I suppose now I recognize more of my weaknesses and limitations, and have a better grasp of what separates me from the true world-class players out there. I couldn't see these things before, because my knowledge was too limited. I had too many blinders on that had to be shed through trials on the green felt, before I saw how much better I could be (and still can be). I guess it's like they say -- the more you learn, the more you realize how much you don't know.

Now, I am a confident player. I know that my skills are as strong as ever, and that my level of experience and poker "wisdom" are finally starting to catch up with whatever natural abilities I've had all along. But even with that confidence, I'm better able to see areas for improvement. The arrogance has not been completely eradicated quite yet. However, now I think my self-awareness has improved to a point where I can better limit the effects of my shortcomings, and use my strengths to the maximum.

Reading through the posts, especially ones where I staked out a particular position on a poker topic, I have to smile. They remind me of some of the players I play with these days. Very solid players, but players that are unable to see beyond a particular set of beliefs. Players that don't even realize how limited and inside-the-box their thinking is.

I take heart from the fact that I can see a real progression from my very first posts from early 2006 all the way through my posts from late 2007. I think it bodes well for my future, and I'm looking forward to looking back once again a few years down the line from now. The upside to poker knowledge is infinite.