Hustler Highlights

I’m a huge fan of table talk – in my mind it’s one of the greatest advantages live poker has over online poker. That and being legal. Anyway, here are a few “soundbytes,” if you will, from yesterday’s 5-hour sesh at the Hustler. There was a cash-game full of pros right next to my table … kind of a who’s who of sorts. David “Chip” Reese, Ted Forrest, Phil Ivey, Johnny “World” Hennigan, Larry Flynt, Barry Greenstein, and a few guys I didn’t recognize. Each of them had huge stacks of $1,000 chips in front of them. Pretty cool stuff. So here are the gems I remember. Enjoy.
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Seat 7: Yeah, we knew you had a pocket pair.
Me: Really? Wow, good read.
Seat 7: Actually, it wasn’t that good a read. Before the flop you were muttering “Come on, let me hit a set!”
Me: Was I really?
Seat 7: Yeah.
Me: Seriously???
Seat 7: Hahaha, yeah.
Me: Jeez, I gotta work on my poker face. Giving tells left and right here … I mean, literally telling what I have!

Seat 3: Damn it, that’s almost like … almost twice that I’ve laid down the best hand!
Me: Almost twice, huh? So you mean … once?
*Laughter*

Seat 7: Check it out!
Seat 6 (his girlfriend): What? What is it?
Seat 7: That’s Phil Ivey!!!
Seat 6: Oh really? Wow! Oh wait … who’s Phil Ivey?
Seat 3: ‘Who’s Phil Ivey?’ Man, not only does she not belong in a poker game – she deserves to be shot for asking that question!

Seat 5: Nice jacket, where’d you get it?
Me: In South Carolina … when I went to see my folks.
Seat 5: I see. Well it looks really good on you.
Me: Uh, thanks … bro …

Floorman: I’m sorry sir, but you have to remove your hood while at the table.
Me: You’re joking right?
Floorman: No, sir.
Me: Really? Wow! Is that really a casino rule? I mean Phil Laak wears a hood!
Floorman: Who?
Me: You know … The Unabomber.
Floorman: Sir, I don’t negotiate with terrorists, and I’m not negotiating with you.
Me: Hahaha … this guy has balls … he’d probably make Osama remove his turban.
(I take off the hood).

Me: Nice Tens.
Seat 2, raking the pot: Wha …?
Me: You had pocket Tens, right?
Seat 2 smiles and shakes his head.
A few hands later the same guy check-raises me …
Me: Damn it, you have two pair. You have Aces and Jacks … outflopped the crap out of me. I’m gonna lay this down.
(I lay down my Ace-King face up.)
Seat 2: Jesus, you have reads … am I getting hustled at the Hustler?
Me: Haha thanks for the Chris Ferguson comparison, but if I were Jesus I’d for sure be at the next table over.

Seat 7: I wish I could sit down at that table. Just to learn from those guys.
Seat 8: Yeah, you’d be like – “Um, I’d like to buy in for the small blind.”

Seat 2: Wow, you called me with middle pair? Amazing. Nice hand, though.
Seat 6: You just had that “I’m full of sh—” look on your face.
Seat 4: Ouch man, she just said you look like sh—!
Seat 6: Not so much that he looks like sh—, but he certainly plays like it.

(I make a great call on the river with Ace high to take down an $80 pot.)
Me: Sorry man, but your bet just didn’t make sense to me. Smelled like a bluff.
Seat 3: So if he’d moved all in you would have folded?
(I ponder this for a moment)
Me. Against a good player, I’d lay it down in a heartbeat. Against you, though … I’d probably beat you into the pot.
Seat 3: Hahaha