I copy and pasted it below from Rosenblooms article. Click here for the full article or here for Rosenbloom's archives. Enjoy.
PLEASE, MR. POSTMAN: Just thought I'd share an e-mail I received last week from Phil "The Unabomber'' Laak. It is unedited. It is so Phil.
This is a mass emailing.
SORRY
I am sorry that I am such a lame ass. I know mass emails are lame.
But I am lame......you have a lame ass friend. His name is Phil.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
News......
Yesterday Phil returned from the United Kingdom.
He played a 6,000 pound 56 entrant poker tournament.
It was called the William Hill Grand Prix.
It might only show in the UK. It might not make the USA TV poker rounds.
Here is a recap just in case it does not hit the USA airwaves.....
Phil won it.
The horseshoe is still firmly lodged up his [expletive].
He was massively outchipped (like in the 50 vs 260 vs 330 range) when it was three handed. But the horseshoe would not budge. And he could do no wrong.
He won 150,000 pounds.
In cash money USA $$$$ style that translates to 261,802.53 $ (New York Currency exchange rates as of last night)
smackin.....
rounding up to the nearest thousand this translates to 262 thousand dollars.
or....
262 large
262 k
262 big ones
262 thousand (one dollar) fish tacos
26 college educations (state school -- 1,250 per semester)
about 750 I Pods
Two Hundred Sixty Two Thousand Dollars
The Most Money I Ever Won in my Life
about 7 Lincoln Continentals, 1965 ish (black w/ black interior, in very good condition with suicide doors)
A Thwackin chuck o' dough
13,100 cool T-shirts
55,000 plates of Tu-Lans #24 (Shrimp Fried Rice)
(at two plates a day, this would be 75 years, 4 months of Tu-Lans)
(for those of you not lucky enough to have had this dish I am sorry.)
1,310 sixty second free falls from 10,000 feet.
And that is that.....
Life is good.
Phil
No comments:
Post a Comment